Introduction (Excerpt from It Had to Happen)

Sisters, we are living in a society where so many of us are searching and probing for the answers to this thing we call life. We are in a society where many of us are seeking to understand our purpose. We are changing our degree plans. We are changing our careers. We are changing our hairstyles. We are changing our dress to the latest trends. We have become serial daters: one month we’re with this guy and the next month with another man. Some of us are even changing to an alternative lifestyle. And you know why?

As women, we seek affirmation and praise. We want someone to approve of us. We hunger for protection and assurance. We strive for love and security. God has designed for us to grow from babies to little girls, then from little girls to young ladies, and now, God wants you to blossom into a woman who is whole. Many of us do not realize that it is the trick of the devil to keep our purpose veiled, because the devil knows that true purpose is engendered in God, and that a woman who finds her true purpose will become Satan’s enemy.

We have heard and quoted many scriptures: “Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning,” “What the devil meant for evil, God meant it for good,” and “All things work together for the good of them who love God and are called according to His purpose.” The list is endless. While these scriptures bring us comfort and peace at times, it is a daily struggle to accept them as truth in the daily reality of our lives. Yes, we really want to believe our pain is passing and that one day our joy will be permanent. But wherever we are today, we are still asking God – Why?

Why am I having sleepless nights? Why am I still dealing with this hurt, rather than escaping from it? Why am I missing the mark of being a submissive wife and loving my husband? Why does my child continually disrespect me? Why do I keep going in and out of so many dysfunctional relationships?

Why are you feeling continually disappointed? Why it is everyone is coming to you for the answers to their issues and you can’t even figure out your own? Why it is that every night when we lie in our beds, dark thoughts come against our minds? We’re told, “You are nothing… If you would not have done this, that would not have happened… If you would have been a better this, they would not have done that…” and so on. Things are so tough right now you can’t even share with your girlfriends because you are the one who is “supposed to” have it together.

The truth of the matter is that we have been walking around, masking our feelings and closing the door to our own thoughts about what we are really feeling. We avoid embracing the reality that everything we dream for has been shattered into pieces. We don’t have the will or desire to stoop down, pick up the pieces and put them together again. We are emotionally drained, physically tired and just going through the motions of life in a near comatose state.

Now that we have painted a picture of where you are in your struggles, what comes next? While a picture is worth a thousand words, it is merely a snapshot of where you are in time. It does not show how you are viewed at that particular moment in time. Now we will embark on a journey of self-discovery, not only to retrace our past steps, but to clearly see the direction of our future.

For the next several chapters, we will take this journey together and discover the answer to these questions. It is my prayer that you will be open to experiencing a life-changing paradigm that you have desperately tried to find. Together, we will explore the issues that have positively and negatively influenced our emotional behavior.

This is a book for healing, restoring and focusing on our relationship with God. We will explore the life of a woman in the Bible, whose story is told in the book of Mark chapter five. She intensely suffered for twelve years, but through determination and perseverance, obtained the help she desperately needed. This book was birthed out of a personal desire to offer practical insight into God’s healing power. Just like the woman in the fifth chapter of Mark, God does not discriminate in providing healing for those who are suffering. He will do the same for you, if you allow Him.

Please note my sisters, this book is meant for those who are ready to read it. It’s a voluntary, personal choice for women who say, “I’m feeling you,” “I know someone who needs this,” and “How can I help?” Now if this is handed to you by someone, continue reading it; they are sowing a seed into your life. Afterward, pass it on to someone else and sow a seed into their lives. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:6, “My work was to plant seed in your hearts, and another to water it, but it was God, not we, who made the garden grow in your hearts” (KJV). Remember, it had to happen. Click on the Amazon link below and purchase your hardcover, paperback or eBook editions. Also available at Barnes & Noble and other online stores.

http://www.amazon.com/It-Had-to-Happen-ebook/dp/B005AHR8W6/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&qid=1308016296&sr=1-1

DOVE's love and big hugs,

Cynthia A. Patterson

Author, Bible Teacher & Inspirational Speaker

CEO & Founder, DOVE Ministries Inc.

P.O. Box 722338

Houston, TX 77272

(832) 323-DOVE (3683)

http://www.dove-ministries.org/

www.facebook.com/doveministryinc

http://www.facebook.com/pages/DOVE-Ministries-Inc-Preparing-Women-for-Purpose/127838747293521

https://twitter.com/#!/cyndypatterson

Inquiries requesting Cynthia Patterson for church, empowerment seminars, women retreats, women conferences or consultations send an email to info@dove-ministries.org.

Review Written by OOSA Online Book Club "O.O.S.A. Gets It Read!"

Let Go and Let God!, November 27, 2011

This review is from: It Had to Happen (Kindle Edition)

At one point or another on our journey throughout life we ask ourselves two important questions, how did we get to the point we're in, in our lives, and who are we really? In "It Had to Happen," author Cynthia A. Patterson assists the reader in finding the answers to these two questions while providing the tools for the reader to connect with God.

Each chapter begins with a helpful quote to jumpstart the chapter and ends with questions and the reader journaling their response. The author provides detailed biblical passages to help open and close doors in a reader's life and begin a future of empowered change.

Pick yourself up a copy. I'm certain you will not be disappointed. What is the saying? It's easier to let go and let God. Happy Reading!

Reviewed by: Sabrina

BOOK REVIEW: It Had to Happen

By Cherie Hill
http://cheriehillblog.blogspot.com/

REVIEW
If the first few sample pages aren't enough to convince you that you need to read this book, then let me elaborate a little to assure you that this is a message you need. Cynthia Patterson not only has a heart for the Lord, she has a heart for the wounded, brokenhearted, and lost. Her only desire is to serve the Lord, by reaching out to a world of women who are desperate for Him.

"It Had to Happen" is written for women in an effort to speak a profound message to each of them individually through the understanding of "The Unclean Woman." (the story told in the Biblical books of Matthew and Mark) Cynthia dissects the story, in order to show the reader how this event speaks volumes into their own lives. Through each page you will begin to feel your faith rise and God's grace take hold of you as you grasp the fact that God wants to do a miracle in your life no matter who you are, where you've been, or what you've done. God waits for you to come to Him.

Cynthia truly writes with passion as she longs to lead you to Jesus, so that you might "touch His garment" and be healed. I nearly read this book in one sitting because I just simply couldn't put it down. Few books are like that. "It Had to Happen" will deepen your faith and strengthen your walk with the Lord. Don't miss this message!

Running from Solace - Breathtaking!

Running from Solace by Nakia R. Laushaul

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Very well written book. The author does an excellent job in bringing you into the lives of the characters. When reading I experience several emotions. The story was so real and I can relate so well. In ministering to women as well as experiencing my self, emotional and physical abuse leads to confusion and uncertainty as to who you are. It leaves emotional scars that only God can heal. Thanks so much to the author and we look forward to many more great books.



View all my reviews

The Perfect Getaway

What's your perfect getaway? A nail salon appointment? A spa appointment? A nice morning sitting on your balcony admiring nature? A candlelight dinner for two? Or a Saturday sitting around in your pajamas, watching your favorite chic movies, while at the same time taking advantage of your only splurge day to eat whatever you want?

We all need to getaway once in awhile. We all need to take a break -- from people, work, and causes we love so much. If you doubt that or feel a twinge of guilt because of it, consider this: It's time and you are way overdue! There are times we will experience fatigue and overload that will require us to have true rest. I had a mentor tell me once "you have to put yourself on your own to-do list". This word of advice was priceless to me. I have a standard ME-day weekly appointment.

But I got to thinking about her advice and realized, one true getaway I do know like no other; is when we go to God. When we go to Him we find this true rest we need.

In the shadow of His wings, our souls live, truly and forever. In His presence there is peace, acceptance, compassion, and security.

Most spas require a reservation. Even nail and hair salons schedule appointments. But this getaway is ours for the asking whenever we need it. Even on the spur of the moment. Heavens's door stands open: "Come to me". Whether we're weary and worried or elated and energized, we can come. Need a getaway? Then run into God's arms!

My Review - Powerful!

I Had Every Excuse To Fail, But I Chose None by Sebastian K. Young

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


The Author does an excellent job of inviting the reader into deeply personal and moving life experiences; while offering words of wisdom and hope. Every reader will be encouraged and inspired to examine your life make no more excuses why you can't move forward and choose to be all you can be.



View all my reviews

Are You Running On Empty?

You know how it feels. At the beginning of this year you were on fire and claiming the blessings of the Lord. You felt like this year was going to be your year! Now your life seems to be going in a gazillion different directions. Truthfully, behind that smile, you’re feeling drained and defeated. Even the fire of your relationship with God, that once burned so brightly, now seems to be barely flickering.

In looking at Psalm 6, we find David. Physically, he is wasting away. He’s been running from enemies too long, and he’s exhausted. Spiritually, he’s dismayed and thinking God has forgotten him. Emotionally, he’s depressed and feeling ready to give up. David is running on empty and he is transparent to God. David says, in verses 2-3, 6:

2 Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. 3 I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me? 6 I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears.

I believe there are some of us who can identify with David and I want each of you to know that you have to shift your focus from your feelings to the facts. David turned his attention to the facts to bring himself out of his depression and run down state. In verses 8-9 David tells the enemy of his mind:

8 Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. 9 The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.

King David got his focus back. It wasn’t about his feelings. It was about the God who was going to take care of him. David may have felt like God had forgotten about him, but the fact is, God knew his case. He may have felt God wasn’t listening to him, but the fact is, the God of his heart heard his cry. So what about you? Are you focused on your feelings or are you focused on the facts?

I’m reminded of a time I too was running on empty. I came to realize it one morning in an “Aha” moment of my life. I woke up late this particular morning. It seemed as if everything that could go wrong, did. I got my hair wet in the shower and couldn’t find my keys to only realize they were in my jacket pocket. To make matters worse I get in the car and was nearly out of gas.

While attempting to pump the gas, I noticed the nozzle did not fit in my tank. In my rush, I was attempting to use diesel fuel in my unleaded tank. God spoke to me through this situation.

Many times we are so busy that we lose sight and focus on the wrong things. We start trying to use other things to refuel ourselves and it doesn’t fit into the plans that God has for us. God says it is time to Re-ignite the Flame! Therefore, when our passion for God wanes and the flame that once burned brightly begins to flicker, Jesus is the one who can and will ignite it.

How can we put ourselves back into the position where He can re-ignite the flames in our hearts? 1) We must pray, 2) We must read the word, and 3) We must believe. Staying in the will of God can constantly infuse His energy in us. God is the only one who can refuel you. God will continue to instill in your passion for Himself, a purpose in life, and a zeal for living so that you can never again feel you’re running on empty…Peace be with you!

What's the Problem?

“Responsibility is my response to God’s ability”~ Albert J. Lown

Here's a question to answer: what issues have you been dealing with that have drained you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, and have isolated you from those whom you depend on for love and affection? I know this to be the case because we all have issues we deal with that cause us to be in search for healing, and for those of us who know God, it is ultimately a search for Jesus Christ. We come to a place where we have been repeating a cycle that causes us to want to give up on life. These issues have taken us to a point where we have exhausted all of our money, time and efforts in seeking a solution, only to find that what we thought was a solution was merely a temporary fix to our real problem.

For years, we have been treating these symptoms of our suffering instead of attacking the root cause of our spiritual ailment: our lack of a relationship with God. Without him in our lives, anxiety, self-doubt, and insecurity take up permanent residence in our lives. These symptoms grow worse over time and eventually manifest themselves in fractured relationships, uncontrolled anger, personal isolation and addiction. Left unchecked, these newly manifested conditions, especially in the case of addiction, may cause us to seek refuge in drugs or sinful behavior. Suddenly the very thing we thought would help ease the pain of our suffering winds up taking us even further away from God.

Self-doubt leads to depression, which leads to addiction, which leads to more self-doubt, a vicious cycle that has only numbed us to how we are really feeling. Secular wisdom in the form of pop culture, reality TV, self help books, etc., only offer to treat symptoms to make you feel better temporarily -- the world's way doesn't address the root problem. Jesus, our Great Physician, knows that only when the core issue is addressed can there be true healing. We receive the root healing from Christ when we are born again.



Virginia Lively, in her book, Healing the Hurt in Your Heart – The Guiding Post Treasury of Hope, makes the following statement: “When we get down to the underlying problem, time after time, it was not medical, nor even, at its deepest, psychological. The real trouble was spiritual. And it was precisely the same problem…These people had trouble loving God.” (Lively, 1976)

I truly believe our true need is a healing of harmful memories and experiences. I recall of a time in my life when I was living a promiscuous lifestyle, indulging in drugs and alcohol while giving in to my lustful desires. I was living a double life, working in Corporate America by day and performing in an elaborate Gentlemen’s Club by night. While this lifestyle was very gratifying, it turned out that I chose to live like this as a way to suppress the feelings of guilt, shame, abandonment, and humiliation that I had acquired from all my negative experiences. So for years, I was pursuing something that only fixed these issues temporarily by satisfying a desire for a momentary high or rush. It was only a place where I could lose myself and be someone else. This Oscar performance was extraordinary and I knew all the lines.

Lost with no hope at all, I decided to go on a search for something to fill this emptiness. This search caused me many years of being in dysfunctional relationships with different men. In ministering to women as well as dealing with it myself, I have discovered a disturbing trend that affects the emotional and spiritual wellbeing of many women in society: The lack of love from a father who said he would be there and never showed up.

In Sarah Zacharias Davis’ book, Transparent, I am reminded of the character Rachel. Rachel said, “There is no disputing the special relationship between fathers and daughters, though often greater attention is given between father and son. But fatherly affection, telling a daughter she is beautiful and creating a standard for how she should be treated, is important. I believe a daughter’s relationship with her father leaves her either walking with a limp or brandishing a hidden power the rest of her life.” (Davis, 2007) For most of us this is a real issue. Without the love from our earthly father it has been difficult for us to trust our heavenly Father. Consider this: Ephesians describes a father as the Spiritual Head of the family, so it would stand to reason that a man, a father should exemplify the godly traits that would be an example for his family. It would stand to reason, then, that the relationship between a man and his daughter will in some way mirror the relationship between God and his earthly daughters. Without a relationship with an earthly father, a woman has nothing against which she can pattern her relationship with her Heavenly Father.

Now for those of you who had a father there for you, were you spoiled by him and always got what you wanted? When you were a little girl and had problems, did your father pick you up and tell you everything was going to be okay and you believed him without question? Do you recall sitting in his lap with your head against his chest, listening to the vibration of his voice as he spoke. And when you held his hand as you walked, did it make you feel safe and secure? Your dad always made you feel special. If you had this kind of relationship with your earthly father, how do you think it would affect your relationship with your Heavenly Father? It would stand to reason that you would try to duplicate this relationship with God in some way. Your relationship with your earthly father would be used as a blueprint in forming your relationship with God.

Let me add a small caution here, however, before you fall into the trap of thinking God will try to fulfill your every desire just like your daddy did. God does not roll like that. God’s primary concern is the salvation of your soul, not the elevation of your earthly status. While he does bless some of us with wealth and status, his desire is for you to grow spiritually, to shed the trappings of sin and death and embrace the gift of salvation that he sent you through His son. Just as a sword is forged in fire to create a mighty weapon, your soul may be subjected to the spiritual fires of suffering and deprivation to rid you of the sinful habits that build a wall between you and God. What this means, my sisters, is that God does not remove the suffering when you ask him to; he removes it when you have grown. In the face of suffering, ask yourself this question: What does God want me to learn, and how does he want me to grow?

Then, there are those of us who have had a completely opposite relationship with our fathers, which has negatively affected the way we relate to God. I’m reminded of the tragic story of Tamar, The beautiful daughter of King David in 2 Samuel 13:1-22. The bible illustrates how this story unfolds, How Amnon her half-brother, was infatuated by her. Amnon followed the advice of his cousin Jonadab, who told him to pretend he had an illness, and ask his father King David to send Tamar to care for him. The innocent Tamar, being obedient to her father, came to feed whom she thought was her ill brother. Her brother raped her, robbing her of her innocence and subjecting her to a life of, insult shame and humiliation. Verse 19 says, Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented robe she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.

In ancient times, virgin daughters of the King wore a robe that indicated their status. So when her other brother Absalom, saw her appearance and found out what had happened, he said to her, “Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don't take this thing to heart." From then on, Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman. Desolate means abandoned, depressed, lonely. Do these sound like familiar feelings that describe you?

My heart goes out to Tamar, because here you have a brother who betrayed her, and another brother who told her to keep quiet about being violated. The most horrible experience of all, however, was the fact that she was practically ignored by her powerful father, King David, who could have righted this wrong. For the bible said while King David was furious when he heard of the incident, he held no resentment against Amnon, whom he favored as his first born. If we assumed Tamar’s honor was never restored, what do you think she might have been like by the time she was forty? By then, she would have spent decades asking, where was her father when she screamed? Where was he when Amnon violated her? Was he so preoccupied with the death of His first son by Bathsheba? Was he exhausted from fighting in the war so he could not discern his son Amnon’s motives? Whatever the case, he was not there for her. He was not there to protect her.

Like Tamar many of us were convinced by the enemy we were not fit to have honor or dignity due to the abandonment and non-involvement of our earthy fathers. Before we continue our journey forward to self-discovery and healing, let us take a look backwards to see how our past has affected our lives today.


Discovery Questions

1.Read Philippians 3:12-14. Do you think your past is hindering you from enjoying God’s plan for your future?


2.Can you identify what it is that is hindering you?


3.Write down your belief statement that will encourage you when it tries to come back.


4.Pray for God to begin the process.


Reflections to Journal:
1.Lord, I recognize I have an issue and need healing in:

2.Grant me wisdom and strength to obey you in the area of:

3.You are calling me to be more complete by:

It Had To Happen - Intro Part 1

Sisters, we are living in a society, where so many of us are searching, so many of us are exploring for the answers to this thing we call life. We are in a society where many us are in search to finding out our purpose. We are changing our degree plans. We are changing our careers. We are changing our hairstyles. We are changing our styles to latest trends. We have become serial daters. One month we’re with this guy and another month with that one. And some are of us are even changing to an alternative life-style. And you know why?

As women we seek affirmation and praise. We want someone to approve of us. We hunger for protection and assurance. We strive for love and security. God has designed us to grow from babies to little girls. From little girls to young ladies. And now God wants you to blossom into a woman who is whole. Because many of us don’t realize that it is the trick of the devil to keep your purpose veiled because he knows that true purpose is engendered in God, and a woman who finds her true purpose, she will become dangerous to the devil.

We heard and quoted many scriptures. Like weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning…What the devil meant for evil, God meant it for good…And all things work together for good of them who love God and are called according to His purpose. We really want to believe that. We really want to believe our pain is passing. We really want to believe that one day our joy will be perma-nent. But wherever you are today, you’ve been asking God – Why?

Why is it you keep having sleepless nights? Why is it you’re still dealing with this escapable hurt? Why is it you keep missing the mark of being a submissive wife and love your husband? Why is it your child keeps disrespecting you? Why is it your in and out these dysfunctional relationships?

Why is it you’re constantly feeling disappointed? Why is it everyone is coming to you for the answers to their issues and you can’t even figure out your own? Why is it every night we lie in our beds when darkness comes against our mind telling us we’re nothing? If we would have done this that would not have happened. If we would have been a better this, they would not have done that. When things are so tough right now you can’t even share with your girlfriends, because you are the one who “supposed to” have it together.

The truth of the matter, we have been walking around masking and closing the door to our own mind of what we are really feeling. And everything we dream for has been shattered into pieces and we don’t have the will or desire to stoop down and pickup the pieces and put them together again. Because we are emotionally drained. Physically tired and we are in a comatose state; just going through the motions in life aimlessly.

For the next few weeks we will take this journey together and discover the answer to these questions. It is my prayer that each of you be opened to experience a life changing experience that you have been desperately trying to find. Together we will explore some issues that have influenced our emotional behavior both positively and negatively.

These blogs are for healing, restoring, and focusing on our relationship with God. We will explore the life of a woman in Mark Chapter 5 who suffered a great issue for twelve years. For twelve years it seems as if life was hopeless for her. But through a determination and perseverance she was able to receive the help she needed. It is my prayer that you will receive practical insight through the word of God on His healing power. Just like this woman in Mark Chapter 5, God is no respector a person; He will do the same for you, if you allow Him too.

Please note my sisters this blog is meant for those who are ready to read it. It’s a voluntary, personal choice for women who say, “I’m feeling you”, I know someone who needs this; or how can I help someone?” Now if this is forwarded to you by someone, continue reading it, they are sowing a seed into your life. Afterwards, pass it on to someone else and sow a seed into their lives. Paul says in the Kings James Version of 1 Corinthians 3:6, my work was to plant seed in your hearts, and another to water it, but it was God, not we, who made the garden grow in your hearts. Remember "It Had To Happen".